Being a parent with ADHD is definitely challenging to say the least. But there is an upside because you also bring many unique and wonderful attributes to the table. Yes, you probably forget to sign a few permission slips, or struggle to figure out what is being said at a PTA meeting, or maybe forget to order an occasional birthday cake for your child’s party, but you also bring a lot of love, curiosity, and adventure.
So if you spend a lot of time judging and criticizing yourself because you forgot to add money to your child’s lunch account, feel overwhelmed with planning activities for the summer, or struggle to help your kids get ready for school in the morning, it is time to take a moment to focus on what makes you special to your child.
1. You are sensitive
Want to know why being sensitive is special? Being a parent with ADHD means feeling emotions intensely. That includes love, empathy, and connection.
You can sense when your child is hurting. And when your kid is hurting, you are all in. When they’re excited, you become excited for them. You are the parent that is cheering the loudest, “Way to go, you have got this!” This emotional attunement is an important foundation to help build a deep, authentic relationship with your child.
2. You bring the spark
Parents with ADHD are often super creative. You are the parent that loves having a dance party in the kitchen. You are the parent that will build an elaborate blanket fort on a Tuesday just because. Your spontaneity helps turn any day into an adventure, and your kids get to grow up in a home where imagination and playfulness are always welcome.
3. You model resilience
Managing ADHD while parenting, or anything else for that matter, isn’t easy. It is an everyday struggle even when it is well managed. But every time you navigate a tough day, adapt, or try again, you are modeling resilience. Every time you show yourself compassion for making a mistake or forgetting to sign a permission slip, you are modeling how to move forward. Your kids get to see firsthand what it looks like to keep going, ask for help, and try new strategies. So you are teaching them how to be resilient in real time.
4. You understand what it is like to struggle
You know what it feels like to be misunderstood or to fall short of (unrealistic) expectations. So when your child forgets something, zones out, or melts down, you can relate. You bring compassion and empathy to the situation. Something you might wish you would have had as a child.
Due to more research and understanding of ADHD, more than likely you were late diagnosed with ADHD. Or even if you were diagnosed as a child, more than likely your parents, teachers, or friends didn’t understand ADHD. Not understanding often leads to judgement and criticism which is incredibly painful to experience.
If your child has ADHD, you will be the parent that wants to understand how your child’s brain works, parenting from a place of curiosity, compassion, and advocacy.
5. You are always growing
I am not saying neurotypical parents aren’t growing. Anyone can have a growth mindset. But you have been dealing with a world that doesn’t understand that your brain operates differently. So you have had to figure out ways to make things work for you in ways neurotypicals never have to.
Living with ADHD might be an everyday struggle and at times make parenting overwhelming, but ADHD also comes with many superpowers. Your strengths and superpowers are what you want to tap into. They come naturally to you and help boost your dopamine. Don’t get bogged down with unrealistic parenting expectations or where your deficits may show up. Because at the end of the day, your strengths and superpowers make you unique AND bring joy and happiness to your child.
Jacqueline V Cohen is a Licensed Professional Counselor and ADHD Certified Clinical Services Provider. To learn more about her work, visit her website. You can also contact her by email.
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