Marriage isn’t easy by any means. So if you have marriage problems, you are not alone. It is a common human experience. But marriage does take work, all of the time. So how do you overcome marriage problems so the work creates connection?

Here are some things to think about:

There are 4 different communication styles. They are assertive, passive, passive aggressive, and aggressive.

The most effective style of communication is assertiveness. When you are assertive, you are advocating for yourself, while you are advocating for the other person at the same time. This is an open and connecting way of communicating.

What does it mean if you have marriage problems your first year of marriage? Well, don’t panic. It is actually normal to have marriage problems in the first year. But here are some things that could be contributing to the conflict.

Having a baby is a major life transition. So if you are having marriage problems after your first baby, you are not alone. No one is ever really prepared for the reality of becoming a parent. Education is incredibly helpful, but you still don’t know what you are getting into until you are in it.

So here are some tips to help alleviate marriage problems after your first baby.

Start an open dialogue about roles and responsibilities.

There are so many things to keep up with like managing household chores, nighttime feeding, changing, bath time, work, childcare, etc. It may sound funny but if you don’t talk about these things, you are setting yourself up for unnecessary conflict.

What I found for myself and see in my clients who don’t have an open dialogue is built-up resentment. This is due to consciously or unconsciously stepping into roles that were modeled by your parents which may or may not be appropriate for you and your partner today.

When you keep an open dialogue, then you are working together as a team. Collaboratively choosing roles that fit your strengths and interests as well as agreeing on what to let go of or outsourcing if possible will reduce the risk of marriage problems after your first baby.

An open dialogue means you can revisit the conversation if you have more children or as children get older and life changes.